Vignettes from the past few weeks, written (as is becoming standard for me these days) in retrovision, that is, as if they happened a long time ago. Warning: long post.
***
i watched the west side story at meralco theatre with my friend and his family, whom i consider as one of my so-called second families. i thought that it will just be your typical afternoon-run musical production. that's why i went there wearing a pair of jeans, a round-neck top, and my brightly coloured hoodie. however, when we arrived at the venue, i was suddenly greeted by some of my mom's childhood and high school friends, some of childhood friends from makati, and certain politicians -- all of them wearing those silly semi-formal clothes. there and then, i realised that i did forget the fact that the musical run i was watching was sponsored by the foundation of my close friend -- a known socialite in the country. of course, i kind of felt stupid for not seeing that beforehand and wished that i dressed more appropriate for the occassion. but since i was already there, i just shurgged off that sense of awkwardness and watched the play as if i was not underdressed.
the musical production was surprisingly impressive. there were many actors and actresses who gave notable performances. i really liked how that particular actress, who portrayed anita, was able to deliver that sense of identity confusion, which is pretty much evident to most immigrants in the united states. she also danced and sang perfectly. joana ampil, as expected, delivered a strong performance. she was really maria during the entire run of the play. her voice, projection, and stage-presence were almost perfect -- except for that one particular moment where she seemed lost and wasn't hitting the notes already. but of course, there were also some instances that were a little bit off. there were moments when christian bautista was already struggling just to reach the note, which were quite painful to see and hear. but then again, knowing that it was his first major musical production, it was still forgiveable.
after watching the musical, i couldn't help but see two interesting social points that were highlighted by the play. first is the fact that in all societies, we still see ourselves in relation to other people. that's why we tend to patronise the idea of difference, which result in societal discrimination -- and even xenophobia. as what edward said (1978) posited, "
we tend to see ourselves different from the others through the very relation we form from the so-called 'others'." and because of this very difference, the relationship of maria and tony became complicated and doomed at the very first place.
second is the idea of the fragmented self -- the constructed self. anita, maria, and their so-called immigrant group suffered from this complicated conceptualization of their identities in the play. being immigrants in the united states, they had to reconcile the fact that they're not just americans, but rather, puerto ricans (chicano) as well. and because of this, these individuals had to be aware of their fragmented self just to be able to understand and project their newly constructed identities in a new world. the very ironies of separation and unity give these immigrants the rationale behind the construction of their new identities. as what Turkle (1995) quoted from Rheingold:
"With our relationships spread across the globe and our knowledge of other cultures relativizing our attitudes and depriving us of any norm, we “exist in a state of continuous construction and reconstruction; it is a world where anything goes that can be negotiated. Each reality of self gives way to reflexive questioning, irony, and ultimately the playful probing of yet another reality.” (p. 257)"
yes, i just have to analyse the play using a very academic lens. i'm surely in dire need of an academic engagement once again.
***
speaking of academic work, i had a brief stint at the academic world after several months. i sat-in at my friend's class, where he teaches political democratic theory to undergraduate and graduate political science students. the class is really interesting because it problematises the notion of democracy, especially in today's time. the reading list is also interesting, because it covers a lot of interesting political theorists -- arendt, foucault, toqueville, laclau, hardt and negri, and others. anyway, when i arrived, the class had already started with its discussion on hardt and negri's empire (2000) and multitude (2004) and agamben's homo sacer. the students, both undergraduate and graduate students, shared interesting points, although, i kind of felt that many of them didn't really understand their readings. they totally neglected the fact that hardt and negri never focused on the notion of identity, but rather emphasised on the idea of the common. they also seemed to be too simplistic in understanding the questions posed by the professor. moreover, some of them didn't get the connection between agamben's homo sacer and the very idea of multitude, which sprouts from the so-called empire. i mean, to show the connection between homo sacer and the multitude, they should have highlighted the very ambiguities of the sovereign, which labels the homo sacer as such and the multitude that tries to restructure it. but then again, in any academic discussion, no one can easily say that s/he is wrong and i am right. because at the end of the day, we all base our answers on how we understood and communicated with the text -- something that varies from one person to another, especially with varying ontological perspectives.
after the class, i couldn't help but be honest with myself -- i really do miss the academic world. i miss those moments where you'd have to engage with the works of other intellectuals and try to understand what they're really saying. i also miss those instances where i'd have those antangonising yet memorable dialogues with my peers. and what makes things more miserable is that the more i try to make myself busy with the corporate world, the more i miss it.
let's see, in one to two months, if i'll be back.
***
on the idea of going back, i actually went back to gesu (after several months) last thursday to join the entire ateneo community for the thanksgiving mass. my atenean office mates and i went there even if the rain was so strong and the cars weren't moving on edsa. we travelled from ortigas to ateneo for almost two hours, but we were all too excited for the thanksgiving mass to notice the hassle of going to ateneo from our office.
when we arrived at the church of gesu, the players weren't still there. however, the church of gesu was already full of ateneans anxiously waiting for the arrivals of the players. and when they arrived, i couldn't even hear my own voice since people were shouting their praises and gratitude to the players for bringing back the championship trophy to the ateneo after six years.
the mass was very light, because of the different anecdotes and funny stories that fr. ben shared during the homily. besides, it's a thanksgiving mass that's why the mood was very pleasant and optimistic. right after the mass, it was announced that the bonfire will be on tuesday and everyday became so excited about it -- including myself. such oozing excitement is probably because of the possibility that it might take a long time for me to experience it again, if ever my academic plans push through next year. that's why right now, i really want to be there.
yes, this is me talking about school-spirit
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nerdy
nostalgic
amused
contemplative
optimistic
calm
accomplished
tired